The -F filters are only supported by recent versions. I forget which first added it. On versions which support it, it works all the time, regardless of whether SecureXL is enabled or disabled. The filter is in the form of five values separated by commas like this: "0,0,0,0,0". A 0 in a field is a wildcard. The fields are source IP, source port, destination IP, destination port, and IP protocol.
Note that these filters are directional. If you want to catch a whole conversation, you need to use two filters. For the values you specified, I would run the capture like so:
fw monitor \
-F "192.168.100.20,0,10.100.100.50,4443,0" \
-F "10.100.100.50,4443,192.168.100.20,0,0" \
...
The backslashes let me spread the command onto multiple lines. This helps catch errors in the filters, since the filters to catch both directions of a single conversation should be the same length. Replace the '...' with whatever other flags you want to add. -w to catch whole packets, -o <file> to write to a file, and so on.